Run Caitlyn Run

Sometimes I don’t always feel like talking about you. Sometimes I want to talk about things that would get me canceled if my real-life self said them. What do you say, you feel like getting canceled? Fuck it, it’s Saturday night. Let’s do this.

When I’m not obsessing over love/hate feelings for you and thinking of ways I can blame you for being stuck in the straitjacket I forced you into, something I think about a lot is our new cultural outlook on gender identity. Trust me, I’m all for it as I often don’t feel like I’m a “man” inside my body. My interests and affects are anything but masculine, aside from my buff muscles and cut off shirts, but beyond that I knit, I swish, I lisp, I’ve been known to wear a bra or two from time to time. I really can’t be pegged… unless I’m being pegged and then it’s FAN-tasss-TIC. Ahhh, I digresss.

I think our cultural norms around gender are ridiculous. Just because you were born with a vagina doesn’t mean you need to like lipstick and Barbie. Having a penis shouldn’t suggest to others that you automatically have an interest in purchasing a Ford F-150 and joining a Fantasy Football league. But, here’s the big but, penises and vaginas are a biological fact more so than things like race, for example, which is completely a social construct. Yet if I were to just show up in China based on a deep seated feeling I’ve had since I was a child because of a passion for slippers and Ming Dynasty weapons and say, “Hey I’m Chinese y’all!” I’d be laughed out of the country, at best. At worst you can let your imagination run… Rachel Dolezal anyone?

So why, when they say it takes 7 years to become fluent in a foreign language, can Caitlyn Jenner present as a woman for merely months and be pronounced Woman of the Year? Sorry not sorry, but gender identity is culture, and if you’ve only been submersed in a culture for a few months, you do not get to claim dominance over it. “Hey y’all, I just showed up in Jamaica for foreign exchange! I love it so much; I’ve got it on lock.  Please consider me for Jamaican of the year!”

What a slap in the face to all the woman who have lived as little girls under the male gaze their entire lives. Caitlyn Jenner doesn’t know what it feels like to be a 12-year-old girl alone at a bus stop when a 60 year old man approaches her and tells her she’s beautiful and wants to get to know her better. Caitlyn Jenner doesn’t know what it feels like to be interrupted, undercut, and ignored every time she tries to state a simple thought out loud. What does Caitlyn really know about being perceived as a woman… weak, with holes and parts to be used at the discretion of any man who may fancy her? What does Caitlyn, the Olympic Gold Medalist in the men's decathlon, know about not being fast enough to outrun a pursuer, how that shapes the way you see the world and what you allow yourself to do, to try, to dream?

Woof! Sorry, rant over! I really got swept away there. This is my super power, being consumed by my characters. I’ve been combing through your browsing history and reading the articles you read. I’m making an effort to be more empathetic so I can understand how you feel. What do you think? Did I do a good impression of a feminist? See, I am trying.