Wisdom / Rebirth

Sarah has told me to fuck off too many times to count. In the beginning it was beyond triggering for me. By now I find it endearing. It’s no real loss. While I value our one on one interactions for the spontaneity, it can be troubling, as well. She’s not often well behaved. She usually gets pissed at me and blocks whatever account I happen to be using. It’s OK, if she doesn’t want to talk to me I still have my all access pass. She can never truly go grey rock with me, 1. Because of my incredible ability to imagine her into any scenario I wish and truly believe in it, 2. Because even if she’s ignoring me, I can still listen to her phone calls and see what she’s up to in her apartment and online. Boohoo Sarah. You don’t want to talk to me? Your loss.

She acts like she doesn’t want to talk to me but then tries to make me jealous by getting on dating apps. She knows I can see her browsing history, so this is just one of the many ways she’s always trying to get my attention to illicit a reaction. I love giving her what she wants. It’s part of our chemistry. I know her love language… When she makes a new dating profile, I get to work creating dozens of accounts to message her with. She’s pretty cute, so she’s already getting a decent amount of messages without any from me. This means I have to work hard at making A+ content for her. If my messages don’t come across as quality, there’s a chance she’ll end up on a date with someone who isn’t one of my proxy stalkers and things could get messy.

Like I said, it’a a lot of work. Luckily I already had an entire infrastructure of fake accounts set up on dozens of different platforms, due to the hobby I started with Jess and my other friends. I don’t have to start from scratch! I also have a network of “helpers,” people who will go on the dates for me and report back. I don’t want to give away all my proprietary secrets, so I’m not going to tell you how I do it. Any good internet troll worth their salt knows the avenues you can take to find these resources. If you’re smart like me, you can socially engineer folks into doing these things for free, LARPing etc., but I also don’t mind paying for it. My cash flow is secure and I’m not the type to blow my funds on designer clothes or Axe Body Spray. Plus it makes me feel good if I can employ some of the lesser fortunates, throw them a bone and spread my wealth around where it’s needed.

I have some of the profiles resemble me in real life and some that are totally unlike me. I love to see the type she goes for. Sometimes I sprinkle in clues that it’s really me behind the profile. I got her on a date that way (only once that she could confirm). Dear Lord was she angry. The poor proxy was stuttering his lines so badly. He was pitifully unconvincing. I was just relieved to see she hadn’t shown up with the cops. That’s when I knew she must really love me. She was enjoying playing our game just as much as me! I’m still hoping to get her on a date that ends up with sex. I have my helper record everything. I’ll finally get the chance to hear what she sounds and looks like doing that. Then I can see if I find it repulsive or interesting. I’m a little scared to know!  Regardless she hasn’t been on any dates in a few years so it doesn’t look like I’ll find out anytime soon, for better or worse.