To all my "friends"

Thanks for all your help. It was all fun and games until it was time to pin the tail on the donkey. You were all there, too, watching, listening, supplying ideas, upping the ante, egging me on, aiding and abetting. I know, I can hear you all now, "But we’ve been doing stuff like that to fans for years, it was nothing new, and we never get caught." But you all encouraged doing this way too close to home this time, knowing full well it was me with my donkey ass on the line.

It’s not like any of you were slick about it, following her around, literally staring at her like any average dumbass wouldn’t be aware enough to notice you all looking like kids with candy, falling all over yourself trying to get a grab at it. So stupid, my brain hurts from my eyes rolling all the way back in my head at the dumassery of it all.

Then came the grand evacuation. Oh, how you all scurried away when the storm hit. "Save yourselves!" seemed to be the unspoken motto. You knew she knew were you lived and you decided to play the game anyway life she wouldn't call you out, because why? Oh yeah, because you're rock stars. I was left alone trying to shield potential hits to my career and trying to salvage my relationship. And you all were just out. Thanks for the lifeline, pals.

Look, I get it; we were playing with fire. But we all willingly danced with the flames, and now you've conveniently vanished, leaving me alone, all my dad moves painfully on display as the only one on the dance floor. It's not about me playing the victim; it's about you all not being team players.
Enjoy your newfound invisibility, my fair-weather friends