Finally, a letter from Sarah

To S

Here I am doing anything and everything I can to have you arrested or taken down in some sort of vigilante justice kind of way and you think I'm flirting with you. Your delusions never cease to enrage me.

You're not the only one with fantasies, you know? My fantasy is that you'll wake from this dream world you've created for yourself and finally see all the harm you've caused to yourself and others by running from reality. Of course, your MO is always to choose short term and immediate gratification over confronting something painful even if it will make things better in the long run. You only see as far as the tip of your nose, truly.

Remember when you took the pain and anguish you incited in me and my resulting rage after watching you choose to do it over and over and over again, and you pointed everyone's attention to that, explaining to them how this was happening because I had schizophrenia? Remember that?

Here's something I know you can relate to, even through your cloud of alternative facts and misdirected emotions; once people start looking at you side-eyed under the pretense that you might be "crazy" there's really no turning back from there. Anything and everything you do subsequently will be colored through that lens. Make an off color joke in a bit of awkward silence - crazy. Say something eccentric that earlier would have been considered cute or comedic - now crazy. Disagree with someone on their yard care routine - totally fucking crazy.

The only way that I could every forgive you is if you lift the dark cloud of crazy you have shrouded my life in. Confess. Tell the truth, for once, my god. Absolve me from paying for your sins and the mess you created in my life. If you did that in such a way where you were also no longer able to continue the crimes you are currently committing against me, I would no longer seek alternative forms of justice.

But alas, this is a fantasy, isn't it? The master of delusion will imagine I have actually written this letter to myself. You'll catalog in your mind all the times you believe I have hurt you and trespassed on your feelings, excluding any action you may have taken to instigate those circumstances, then you will label these as crimes against yourself and conclude that I am just as responsible for any warranted apologies or dysfunction in our "relationship" and that this letter is me telling myself it's time to undo the pain I've cause you and that it's also proof of my undying love for you.

I know how your wormy little brain works.

The big difference being, although you may feel I unjustly hurt your feelings, I in fact have never done anything illegal. We both know the same cannot be said for you.

From S